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Early to Rise...

It's 2:30 in the morning. The little apartment is completely quiet with the exception of the three different clocks we have ticking. I didn't even know we had three clocks. For some reason the superfluous clocks are bothering me. Were we purposely trying to collect time? Keep it on the wall pinned down so we could save it up?
Or is there because we wanted to remind ourselves how quickly it slips away?
Well now I won't ever get to sleep.
No time for sleep. Time is going out the window. Although, we only have one window...I could make a net...like a Dreamcatcher-looking thing. To catch time. Ha. I replace my curtains with a dreamcatcher to gather my time so that I can sleep. Maybe that is what an original dreamcatcher was? Maybe.

Probably not.

Distractions Part One

Does your mind ever wander whenever someone says an intriguing word or phrase? So, today I definitely heard someone use the phrase "killer personality". As in, "That girl has a killer personality." I immediately thought of a girl with an odd grimace splattered on her face, and a crazy twinkle in her lazy eye. I was so distracted by the serial killer who needed a date, that I actually missed the rest of the conversation. This led to that most feared situation in any daydreamer's life; An answer pause. This occurs when you finally snap out of whatever fantastical daydream you are enjoying, and end up in an awkward silence with the person staring at you...waiting...with a silent question in their eyes...What have they asked? Doesn't matter, you only have two ways out. Ask them to repeat it and risk them thinking you are a rude jerk, or roll with it and give some noncommittal answer, like, "Well, I guess...I don't know." And I'll bet you can figure out which one I chose.

"Well, I guess...I don't know."
"Ashley, I asked you if you were listening. Why don't you ever pay attention?"

And then I picture a huge golden statue with a single plaque at the bottom that reads, "Attention", and all the land has come to pay homage to this great and wonderful-

Thus I am alone at home instead of out with my friend. Oops.

Eternal Spotlessness

Do you ever have those days where you realize that at any moment, life could be over...so you try to be extra sweet and romantic to the one you love, and they would rather not be mushy? So you get into a really terrible mood, like, "This is what we'll remember our life together being like?!", and then you decide to ruin the surprise of that oreo pie you made for after supper, and then you end up sitting alone on a couch with half a tub of coolwhip, sulking at a computer screen thinking about ways you could kill the other person without anyone ever knowing? And then just end up feeling like a crazy person who is in a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad mood?

Yeah, me neither.

Jeffrey's Birthday

Jeff's Birthday is so soon! He turns 21 on Sunday, but little does he know that I am throwing him a party tonight! Woohoo! Surprise parties! Hopefully this all works out, because I hate throwing parties.

Mawwiage.

I'm hitched. Jeffrey and I had a beautiful ceremony that I was characteristically late for. It was a great day. Now, I am at my last week at my job, and I'm actually really looking forward to going on the hunt for a new job. I just hope I find something that I can semi-enjoy for the next few months.

Here we go! :)

ALMOST

Almost there! It's July! And in four days (three really...our wedding is a morning wedding) I'll be a married lady!

This week I feel like everything is going way too fast. This weekend was fantastic though. My favorite moment was without a doubt, my wedding shower. Everything was beautiful and so much was tailored to things that I loved. Even the music in the background was a mix of my favorite love songs! And the prizes for the game were books! And the favors were bookmarks! My mom did an awesome job. She knows me very well.

Also, my friend Chelsea had a party that was fun. It was just nice to relax this weekend. Although, now I feel like I have a lot to do!

I still have to pick up my dress, finish hand-painting the fans/programs that I'm giving out to our families for the wedding, organize our new gifts from the shower, clean our house, and somehow do laundry so I can pack for the cruise. AND--squeeze work into all of that. Is that even physically possible?

This weekend was also a little tense emotionally because I finally got around to writing about some very personal issues. I posted this new piece on my website, and got reviews that made me feel somehow better. But also, I feel like I've gotten over that point in my life. Although you can never forget things that happen, I think you can learn to live with them. I feel like I need to at least have my ideas about my femininity out there. I am not just a body, I am a force to be reckoned with. I am powerful. There is so much more to me than where I've been and what I've done. Not even I could have discovered that without the constant love of my family, my friends, and above all, God.


Feeling like I'll make it. All this rushing around will definitely be worth it after the wedding. <3 Can't wait.